Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize