I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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