She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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