dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think people are normalizing furries
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
