Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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