Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just forgot I was standing up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
