omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize