My room smells like vodka and shame
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she smelled like a LAN party
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
