I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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