Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
