as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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