FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
