I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
