She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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