Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
