so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
