I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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