and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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