Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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