Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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