Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
