my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize