So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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