Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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