you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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