went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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