I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
