Your face is a jimmy john
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
