your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this boner is exhausting
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
