Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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