I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize