It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
