Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
