I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize