i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
