all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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