I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
