Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
