the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
