dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize