hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
