Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
