Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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