i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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