..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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