The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize