Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
