Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
