hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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