dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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