biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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