2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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