you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
