i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my being single is dangerous.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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