so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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