My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize