My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's the barista slut.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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