Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
