WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
