i don't like sucking hair
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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