he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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