suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
