just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
