Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
