i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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