you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
