Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm just crazy horny about you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize