I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
